“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” ~Psalm 37:4
Guest Post Written by Emily Fairless
Valentine’s Day. You love it when you have someone to love, and you hate it when you don’t. Valentine’s day means something different to everyone. To some it is just a lame Hallmark holiday, to another it a great opportunity to shower the one you love with admiration. To many, Valentine’s Day is another reminder that you’re alone.
For this Valentines, I am blessed to spend it with my fiancé, but it wasn’t long ago that I remember wishing, hoping, and praying that the Lord would send me the one HE created for me. There were many days I was tired of waiting, sick of crying, and wishing I didn’t feel so lonely. I’m sure there are many that are alone and can’t relate, but others that may be saying, “YES! I know the feeling!” So to those people, this is for you. This is my story.
Learning the definition of love
All through high school and part of college, I always in a relationship. Looking back, there was something missing in all of them. I was so tired of the rollercoaster of emotions that one day I made up my mind that I wouldn’t date anyone else and that I was going to wait for my future husband. I began seeking the Lord about my future husband and who HE had for me. I didn’t want to date just to date, so I told myself the next person I was going to be with was my future husband.
My perspective changed the day that I read the scripture found in Isaiah 54:5, “For your Maker is your husband; the Lord Almighty is His name.” I realized that no one could EVER love me the way the Lord does. He would NEVER leave me, nor forsake me. I had a deep revelation in my heart that day that I needed to learn of the Lord’s perfect love for me first and foremost. A love that is so unconditional; not based on my performance, a never ending, and a never changing love. I wanted to know my maker as my husband so that when I did get married, that man would never be the ultimate source of my fulfillment, worth, or identity. That began a three-year journey. Those three years were the best years of my life, but also some of the most trying.
I began writing down very specifically what I desired in my future husband. The Lord showed me in his word that I have not because I ask not and how he delights in giving me the desires of my heart. I focused on the character traits that I desired for my mate: generous, patient, sensitive, funny, caring, etc. I began thanking God daily for this man. The more that I fell in love with the Lord, the greater my expectations grew. When I learned of His character, I knew of what I desired in my future husband.
Renewing My Mind
Some days were amazing as I learned God’s fulfilling love, but there were many days that the enemy would lie to me that I would never find someone to love me, my standards were too high, etc etc. Almost daily I had to renew my mind to the truth of God’s word and cast down lies that I would never get married, no one would love me, and so on. When fear would take over, I had to imagine myself walking down the aisle. (Your imagination is POWERFUL and can truly set the course of your life!) I would renew my mind to God’s word and speak these scriptures out daily:
“Lord, I thank you that your word says in Psalm 37:4 that, “You delight in giving us the desires of our hearts.” Your word promises us that, “You withhold no good thing to those that love you.” –Psalm 84:11. I thank you that marriage is a good thing and you will bless me with this gift of marriage. Psalm 18:22 says that, “A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”
During this time there were guys that would approach me and I would wonder if he was the one. After all, they were Christian men who loved the Lord. But sure enough, there was a lack of peace I felt in my heart. I decided once again to say “no” and continue on my path to who the Lord had for me. After all, I knew the Lord would bless me for my patience and diligence in seeking him. I knew this singleness could be one of the best times of my life, if that’s what I believed. The Word says, “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.” -1 Corinthians 7:32. I began changing my perspective and seeing this singleness as a blessing.
There were many times during my singleness that people, even those most close to me, would say to me, “How are you going to find someone if you never go out? How will you find him if you don’t date?” “Are you waiting for the mailman to show up and sweep you off your feet?” I would simply respond, “If that’s how God will bring him, then sure! I knew if God created me so intricately and detailed, he is creative enough to bring him in to my life. I didn’t have to worry about how it was going to happen… I knew that the Lord had that all planned out, every detail.
There were also people that would say, “Why don’t you just date so-and-so. He loves the Lord and treats you wonderfully.” That would sometimes cause me confusion and I would sometimes question the same thing. However, I knew what I believed for and if he was anything less, it wasn’t the right one. I believed for a man of God who knew his authority, who would pray for me, who would fight for me when the enemy was attacking, and one who was strong in the Lord.
I knew my story would be different than how this world does things. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing, and perfect will.” – Romans 12:1-2
Prepare Me Lord
As I prayed daily for the preparation of my future husband, one day the Lord spoke to me about preparing myself and that this was a time that I was to draw close to the Lord, learn of his Word, who I am in Christ, and what it meant to be a Godly wife. He showed me he wanted to do a work in me, to strip me of hurts from my past. The Lord brought me to this quote, “Young women who devote themselves to the Lord prepare themselves for the future by gaining wisdom first, then stepping carefully when the time is right.”
I knew that I would get to that point where I didn’t need anyone to fill me and that the Lord would be enough. I knew once I got to that point, the Lord would bring him to me. One of my favorite quotes through this time was, “ A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to see Him just to find her.” -Lucado
On March 17th I was apart of an event with a local evangelist, Chris Palmer. I was asked to be apart of the team and greet guests as they came into the event. I knew no one, and only recently met Chris. That morning my sister said, “Who knows… maybe Chris will have a friend you’ll meet.” I just laughed her off. I went with the simple intention of drawing closer to the Lord. The night of the event, I was introduced to everyone on the team, including Chris’s good friend, Brett. Before the event started, I asked Brett if he wanted any coffee to kill time. The first thing I remember about Brett is how generous he was as he bought coffee for just about everyone on the team. He opened doors, paid for my coffee, and made me laugh the entire time. When the service began, Brett was in charge of the set up and making sure everything ran smoothly inside the service. However, Brett found his way to the front doors that night and was continuously checking to see if I “needed anything”. He ended up neglecting his duties and just couldn’t help but to stick around the doors with me. The hour of greeting was filled with laughter and conversation.
That night my sister asked how the night went and I responded very shortly, “Good! I met a lot of cool people. One of Chris’s friends had me laughing so hard. I felt like I had known him my entire life.” I began walking away and she responded, “Uhhhh… Who is this guy!?” Once again, I just laughed her off. I didn’t think much of it.
Brett got my number that night to see if we could all hang out as a team the following night. Although I turned down the offer, Brett and I began texting very casually. After a month or so of us casually talking, Brett invited me to a church service with him and Chris. As I sat by him that night, the pastor had told us to lay our hand on the person next to us and start praying for each other. Brett laid his hand on my shoulder and began praying for me. I couldn’t get a word to come out of my mouth. I just cried. I cried with an overwhelming sense of joy as I realized he could be the one. There was just a deep knowing in my spirit.
Throughout the next couple of weeks as we grew closer, I prayed to the Lord and asked him to confirm that I was to continue talking to him. I didn’t want to date anyone for even a day if I didn’t know 100%. I opened my Bible to the scripture that said, “You will be governed by peace.” That spoke volumes to me. Although we often want God to speak to us in a loud booming voice from heaven, typically the Lord speaks to us by giving us peace or a lack thereof. I knew what a lack of peace felt like, for I felt it in all my past relationships. So, I approached every single day with Brett… “Do I have peace today?”
As I got to know Brett, I was amazed daily how he truly was everything and MORE that I had prayed for. He is one of the most caring, selfless, sensitive, generous, loving, and handsome men I have ever met. He puts the Lord first and truly pastors me and loves me as the Lord does. He loves me so unconditionally. He showers me with love and makes me feel like a queen. Every door is opened before I can put my hand on it. Not a day goes by without him speaking his love to me. He prays for me with such power and authority and encourages me with the Word. But you know what is cool? God has fulfilled me in the past few years that I can honestly say that God is my source. I don’t get my worth or fulfillment from Brett. His love is just a representation of Jesus’ love for me.
It’s been just 11 months since the day I met Brett and I now have a ring on my left hand to signify our soon-to-be life together. I truly believe God created marriage as a good thing. The Word says, “It is not good that Man should be alone; I will make him a helpmate.” –Genesis 2:18. “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.”-Ecclesiastes 4:9.
I pray that my story encouraged you today, wherever you are in your journey. The Lord cares so much about every detail of your life. He put the desires in your heart. The more that you seek Him, the more your desires will become His. Don’t try to get ahead of God by trying to figure out how it is going to happen. Trust that if He created this earth and everything in it in such intricate detail, that he has your life planned and figured out. It will be beyond anything you can ever dream, ask, or imagine. Our God is so faithful.
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit–fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.~John 15:16
Have you ever experienced a time where you decided to make a change in your life and you feel like you are doing great for a period of time, (hello New Year’s resolutions) only to find that you wake up one day feeling like you have been completely defeated?!? I’m sure we have all felt like that, whether it’s for a day, a week, or a season of our lives. This can leave you feeling discouraged and in some cases even like there is no point in even trying to make a ‘change’. After all, you know in time that you will just fail again, so why bother?
If it does, you are not alone! Why is it that as humans we so often feel like we are bound to fall at some point after we decide to make a change? Well, I can speak from experience here, and say that whenever I try to accomplish anything without the Lord it always leads to failure. I may make it awhile on my own, (which certainly leads me to believe I have been successful for that period of time) but it is always inevitable…. When I try to make a lasting change without the Lord’s help, guidance, and strength the out come is always the same… I fall back to my ‘old’ ways.
This pattern went on for much of my life, as I tried to succeed in many things without the Lord, (or according to the worlds way’s of doing things), but it wasn’t until I woke up one day and realized that I wasn’t getting very far using my wisdom, or the wisdom of this world. I decided one day that instead of trying to ‘change’ things about myself, that I was going to follow the direction and guidance of Matthew 6:33, which states, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
It wasn’t until I fully made the decision to pursue the Lord’s ways for me and sought Him out in specific areas where I needed change, that I was finding lasting change was being produced in my life. This is what the bible talks about when it speaks of bearing fruit that will LAST in our lives! (John 15:16).
I now know that anytime I am seeking change in an area of my life that I can overcome anything and be successful in anything I set out to do, but it truly is only THROUGH Christ that I will get the strength that I need for lasting change! (Philippians 4:13)
Practically speaking, I have concluded that all lasting change begins with a simple cry out to the Lord for help. I know that in myself I am not strong enough. I begin by acknowledging that I NEED Him to guide, counsel and strengthen me in a specific area.
The next thing I do is go to the Word and ask the Lord to give me promises to stand on relating to whatever it is that I am dealing with. He is always SO faithful to point me to the truth that I need in each situation, (Matthew 7:7). I write these verses out on a piece of paper and keep them where I can see them to remind me daily of the truth. I also know that God’s word is life-giving and encouraging when I am tempted to feel discouraged or afraid (Proverbs 4:20-22).
Another thing that I have learned that is vital to walking out change is staying connected to the ‘vine’, which is Jesus! John 15:5 reveals this truth when Jesus tells us, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit;apart from me you can do nothing.” There is no magic formula to this, but for me, I know it requires taking time out of each day to spend with Jesus. For example, if I find that I am getting overly busy that it isn’t long before I feel my eyes being pulled away from the Lord. I know that I absolutely NEED to spend time with Him to walk in freedom and walk by the Spirit daily! I think this can really be summed up by the scripture that says, “the cares of this world come and choke the Word”…(Mark 4:19). We don’t even need to be preoccupied by ‘bad’ things…just being overly busy with the cares of this world can really drown out the truth of God’s Word in our lives.
Now the good news…I can honestly say that every time I have ever brought something to the Lord that needs to be changed in me, I have been radically changed. Not changed for a while and then in a matter of time I fall….I can say by experience that when you get the Lord involved in any area of your life, you will always reach a place where you are so far removed from those things of your past that you will look back and not even be able to identify with that old habit anymore!
It’s so amazing how the Lord heals us from our past and truly wipes it clean! I think that’s why I can so freely talk about eating disorders without any shame or guilt… The Lord has truly made me new in this area!
Change can take time and there is often a healing process, which isn’t always easy, but the Lord is faithful when you trust Him and don’t give up! It is then that the miracle of healing and restoration takes place by the Lord in those places that used to be a struggle. And before you know it, they become a distant memory. And what’s even better… a testimony that can help set others free!
So many times I’ve heard the saying that in order to get over ‘emotional eating’ you have to fill up on God’s Word…But every time I heard someone say that it left me questioning, how EXACTLY do you actually do that?! I hope this Dashing Devotional Video provides a more clear idea on how to ‘fill up on God’s Word’ and put an end to emotional eating once and for all!
“As a Man Thinks in His Heart, So is He” ~ Proverbs 23:7
In our world today, we truly do make it seem very painful, strenuous, and for the most part, down-right uncomfortable to change an area of our lives. This is especially true when it comes to losing weight, or reaching a health or fitness goal. Many times, people have the desire to change, but when it comes to breaking ‘habits’ or developing a lifestyle change that comes with long term weight loss…People often dread the ‘toil’ that comes with the change.
The reason that change often times seems so difficult is that we are trying to make it happen BACKWARDS! The bible says in Proverbs 23:7 that as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. This means that if you are ever going to TRULY change, you have to start to see yourself on the inside how you want to look on the outside. (A great example is that you start to believe that you truly can do all things through Christ who strengthens you…Imagine what could happen on the outside….Marathon anyone!?!)
Now…This doesn’t mean that we can kick off our shoes and be lazy by any means. In fact… If anything it means that we need to get dedicated and motivated to changing our mindsets! When it came to my personal transformation in this area I won’t lie, it did take time. This was because I had to renew my mind from the YEARS of bondage that I was in. Day by day I was (and still continue to be) as persistent as a bulldog as I take ahold of God’s truths in His Word, and let them change the way I see myself on the inside, and claim them as God’s personal promises to me.
“For God is not the author of confusion but of peace…” ~ 1 Corinthians 14:33
“But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.” ~ John 16:13
“Be still, and know that I am God…”~ Psalm 46:10
“Delight yourself also in the Lord; and He shall give you the desires of your heart” ~Psalm37:4
“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…”~ Colossians 3:15
“Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” ~Psalm 119:105
Have you ever spent a portion of your life thinking about things that you wish you could change? Most likely the answer is yes, and you are certainly not alone! We all have days when we feel particularly ‘discontent’ about certain things.
As women, I truly believe one of the greatest areas of discouragement generally relates to our image. Whether it be about a body part that we wish we could change, ‘wishing’ we could look better, or even more like someone else…I’m sure most of us women have had thoughts relating to such things.
Now, before I go any further I want to clarify that I am not talking about setting ‘goals’ to improve or to become healthy. However, I am talking about thinking about your appearance to a point where you are letting it steal your peace or happiness. We must realize that these types of thoughts are a strategic way that the enemy tries to get us distracted from our purpose and to steal peace and joy from our daily lives.
Don’t believe me?!? Just stop for a moment and think about the type of ‘thoughts’ that play in your head when you think about your body or appearance. Now imagine if you never had a thought like that again. EVER. Do you realize how much joy, peace, and freedom you would have knowing that you would never have to waste another moment of another day worrying about that thing that used to plague you.
“As a man thinks in his heart so is he” ~ Proverbs 23:7
This verse tells us that what we believe in our hearts about ourselves will inevitably be what we become. So, how do we change what we believe in our hearts about ourselves, and in turn become what God wants us to be? Renewing our minds to who HE says we are, and what HE says we can do, will change what we believe about ourselves, and will ultimatley shape who we become! I hope this dashing devotional video helps you learn some simple steps on renewing your mind!
Link to 30 Day Dashing Devotional with Prayer. (Please note, this prayer is a great place to start, however I would encourage you guys to write your personal prayer own as the Lord leads you!)
I heard this song yesterday and KNEW I had to share it! It touched the very core of my soul as I listened to the words….I pray it does the same for you! You are truly beautiful because you are unique, one of a kind, and were created for a purpose that only YOU can fulfill! You are so very precious to the Lord!!!
This song was written from the perspective of how the Lord views each one of us. I pray God renews your mind to this truth as you meditate on the words to this beautiful song by Nicole Nordeman.
“Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that He has promised.” ~ Hebrews 10:36
I’ve been wanting to write this devotional post for quite some time. Although I have to admit, that with us moving it got put on the shelf. However, I know that God has put this message on my heart for someone to hear.
God has really been speaking to me about patience lately. Although I believe it applies to many different areas of my life, one of the most common areas that I believe that impatience gets a lot of people (including myself at times), is in the area weight loss or overall health/fitness goals.
We all know that it takes time to put weight on, and it usually happens so slowly that it seems to ‘creep’ up on people. When people get ‘out of shape’ it doesn’t just happen over night, but is most likely a combination of getting too little activity, and poor food choices over time. The problem arises when this behavior forms into ‘habits’ that we don’t even realize have formed.
“Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood.”~ Isaiah 54:4
I love this verse. It is so personal to me, because I spent so many years living in shame for how I treated my body….Which I now see was nothing more than the enemy trying to keep me in bondage to my past. Whether it was a recent binge he tried to bring me back to…or even something I did weeks, months or even years ago- he would constantly try to accuse me of something!
It wasn’t until I learned that one of satan’s names is actually ‘accuser’ (Revelation 12:10), that I realized what was actually taking place when I felt such horrible feelings of guilt and shame. God showed me that when I would allow these feelings to overwhelm me, I essentially ended up pondering and meditating on my sins. Whenever I would do this, I would find myself in such shame that I wouldn’t even want to spend time with Him. Looking back now, I realize that was EXACTLY what satan wanted!
So much of what the enemy tries to do is keep us hung-up on past mistakes, flaws, or setbacks. If the enemy can keep us in shame then he can keep us focused ourself, instead of what Jesus did for us, and finding out who we are IN Him.. If satan can get us caught up in our shameful ways, than he will fulfill his ultimate plan which is to keep us as feeling as far away from the Lord as possible!